From my experience as a mentor, some of the most effective advice that I’ve been given is to take a “leading from behind” approach to the mentoring relationship with my mentee. Under this model, I endeavour to actively refrain from putting myself in a position where I “pull” my mentee along from a place of authority as if I am a figure whom my mentee must follow behind in order to make decisions in line with my preferences. Rather, by placing decisions of varying magnitudes under the jurisdiction of my mentee, with appropriate constraints for safety, we cultivate a relationship where my mentee is empowered to make autonomous decisions with the confidence. As their mentor, I show my support, even if think that choice is sub-optimal, or not one that I would make in those same circumstances. Whether that be an activity choice for a session or discussion topics, I have seen firsthand the great value of a mentee who feels the freedom to express their preferences and take action without fear of having their ideas being shot down – even though at times everything within me wants to do so. And although the mentee may not explicitly understand this kind of approach to mentoring, seeing the example being set by the mentor may help them come to appreciate the value of it. This is part of sharing power, an action that is key in developmental relationships. When we do that, our mentees feel respected and empowered to try new things, with confidence.
Now, when it comes to encouraging community engagement within a mentoring relationship, I believe that a similar approach can be used. Your mentee may not come with the confidence whereby community engagement comes naturally, and at first it may be difficult for them to grasp the necessity and benefits of partaking in these types of activities. However, instead of dictating the avenue by which the engagement should take place, providing a space for the mentee to creatively define where and how much they’d like to engage provides a sense of ownership. In time, that provides greater motivation to cultivate a love for engaging within their circles. An example of this method in use could be first, establishing what type of community engagement your mentee may be interested in. You could start by listing off and explaining what options are available. While you are going through the different types of community engagement, a great idea would be to explain the benefits of giving back with that particular task.
